some thumbnails of my illustrations

some thumbnails of my illustrations
Please click on the links below to view my portfolio ........ Images copyright of Carrie Osborne
Showing posts with label creative writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label creative writing. Show all posts

Thursday, 28 February 2013

Another Small Stone - A Hedgerow Heart...

(You may need to click on this to read it larger!)
 
Here's the Small Stone that fluttered its way into my notebook this week - though it is maybe a little long for a small stone and a bit ragged around the edges. 
Earlier this week one frosty cold morning, I rescued a tiny wren from the paws of my Mum & Dad's cat. She seemed unharmed and I could hardly feel her at all as she sat calmly and patiently in my hand.



I was enthralled by the brightness of her black glitter eyes, there seemed so much spirit contained within that fragile form, light as breath. Her beak was like a single curved blackthorn, a tiny embodiment of Hedgerow and breezes and wild greeness. She didn't cower or tremble in my hand, just waited, full of awareness, sparkling with it.

A bit blurry - sorry!
 We took her across the field and I opened my hand where she coiled poised for a heartbeat on my palm before fluttering into the hedgerow. She could fly and perch on the fence wire, so I hope she was strong enough after her tangle with the cat to get away safe and rest.
I was intrigued by the spirit of her, the bright spark of her enfolded in feathers.
I'm sure she has more songs to sing.

Thursday, 21 February 2013

Small Stones.... fragments and thoughts, wingbeats in sun...



Shining Crows

                   Glinting

Like facets of anthracite
                      in the wind-bladed light,

Mobbing a Prince of the Air
                      with relentless irreverence.

Words by Carrie - February 2013
 


I have been thinking for a while now as a bit of a prompt or a discipline of sorts, to properly stick to a regular 'Small Stone' post, maybe at least once a week, both to keep the writing part of my mind open and fluid, and to try to make more frequent visits to my poor neglected blog!
A 'small stone' as I'm sure many of you are familiar with, is like a moment of distilled perception, a fragment, the words or thoughts that fall into your mind when you truly look or feel and respond to the world in its unfolding, in a moment in time.

This is very much the way I have always written anyway, before I ever heard the term 'small stone' and it suits me well. I used to never be without a notebook and pencil or scrap of paper wherever I went. A thought or a fleeting observation would scrawl its way into my notebooks in fragments. Sometimes that small fragment would spark on into another one and then open a meandering trail that might lead into a story. Sometimes I would gather various fragments up like pieces of a puzzle and discover the thread to bind them together into something other with a life of its own.
My most recent two stories for children that I have written were each sparked from a single small stone, a phrase or two that sparked an entire wild journey of words and images - one maybe a little flintier than the other! 
I love the unexpected leaps and turnings these moments of absorbed perception can take, and often love the fragments alone just for the shape and sound of their words.

This one arrived as I was watching a magnificent young Buzzard in the field beside our house, utterly confounded and grounded for all his broad brindled strength, by a pair of very bold derisive crows.
They would not let him be, every time he tried to take wing they would dive down and harry him relentlessly. He was outdone! He was forced to remain grounded for a good half hour or so in our field which gave me a rare good view of him... Eventually with expansive evasive manouvering he managed to flee to the woods hotly pursued by his jeering tormentors!

So, the first stone posted - I will endeavour to add another each week, and if I'm feeling really pro-active I might even start up a 'sketch-a-day' exercise and fill up those sketchbooks too!

Thursday, 31 January 2013

Of Wolves and Words...


I love language with all the flow and rhythm of the river of words that when gathered and shaped and spoken become something more, something alive and powerful.

I was recently at Toppings and Company Bookshop in Bath for my brother-in-law Jack Wolf's fabulous reading, talk and book signing to launch his brilliant debut novel 'The Tale of Raw head and Bloody Bones' which deserves a special post all of its own (which will be coming up very soon!)
Its a real Aladdin's cave of beautiful, wonderful books and I came home with a small trove whilst looking back longingly at many others I would have loved to added to the pile... (to add to my ever growing collection here!)
One of those I came home with was Alan Garner's Collected Folk Tales in a beautifully decorated and gilded hard cover, a real treasure! The comment on the back cover by Philip Pullman says:

"The great collections of British folk tales such as this one, should be treated in two ways: first, they should be bound in gold and brought out on ceremonial occasions as national treasures; and second, they should be printed in hundreds of thousands, at the public expense, and given away free to every young teacher and every new parent."

But in the introduction Alan Garner says words that strike a resonating chord with me in all my love of language and stories. Of the folk tale he says:

"The real meaning is in the music; it is in the language: not phonetics, grammer or syntax, but pitch and cadence, and the colour of the word.
In this selection I have tried to get back, through the written word, a sense of the spoken. I have worked to recreate the moment of the telling, so that the printed word may sing."

Yes! I thought, exactly that!
Terri Windling on her blog Myth and Moor has been talking about Storytelling in a far more eloquent way than I and is always inspiring and thought provoking - a well of creativity for all lovers of words, art and story! Do go and have a read...

There is something about writing that I love so much. I often hear it as a trail of thought from another place, bringing with it scents and sounds and dreamlike bright or shadowy images. Very often in the past as now, I have written and illustrated in tandem - sometimes the words manifesting first to lead the image, and sometimes the imagery first, sometimes so vividly that all the words have left to do is describe the scene.
The story I am drawing a dummy book for at the moment arrived suddenly and very strong in its words, and I enjoyed the words so much for their own selves that even though it was always intended for a picture book, it stands alone, which I am pleased about.
I wish I could share this tale with you all, but I would really like to give this its best pitch to a publisher and don't want to scupper its chances... so not yet I'm afraid...
Instead I will show the you one of the double page spreads I have been drawing for the dummy book, sadly for now without the words which would sit on the empty right hand side of the drawing...

 
Here below is a detail of the top right corner...


 And a closeup of Wolf


Until I drew him I had no idea whether or not I could in fact draw a wolf... this was the first spread I tackled to make sure I could do it, so hopefully the images and words will knit together and sing! I really hope so!

Monday, 14 November 2011

A spark in the dark.... or unlocking writers block!

I'm not quite sure what you will make of this post... There is a story waiting, but for a long time with writing I have felt disconnected, seized up, dashing as I do between running a business full time whilst still trying to be a good mum, so my creative headspace is all cramped and smothered by everyday demands.
I need to try and think.., no, live like a writer again with open senses, noticing, feeling and listening even if there's no time to actually write. Even that thought helped to unlock a few words earlier on...

Where have my Words gone
Winging away over
Wastelands of worry

How shall I find them
with a numb gaze
My very soul muffled
caged within my bones
that will not wake

Hmmmm, well its better than nothing at all! The story is all there, I have the feeling of it, the imagery. I can almost hear the rhythm and timbre of the characters' voices just beyond hearing, I can see the shape and colour of the illustrations, but just yet as through a running stream in ripples and eddies ravelling and unravelling.
But I can't force the words to shape themselves, I have to wait, let them rise to the surface clear and fresh when shade, sound and colour all come into focus.

In the meantime I can work on regaining my writing mind, finding a flow of language again. So I took up a notebook and thought ok, I will just write words down until something, anything comes out! It turned out to be quite an interesting excersise so I thought I'd show you what happened...
I wrote very quickly (as you can see by my scrawl) just as random words popped into my head without time to think too much, probebly no more than 20 seconds a page... just to see what happened...
These pages are not to any ends, just to excersise my mind and try to break the deadlock! I'd be very interested to hear if any other writerly types of you out there have any excercises or prompts that you get going with?? It can be a bit of an uphill struggle sometimes!

So, after all those words how about some pictures! I'll leave you with a few photos of our Bonfire Night the other week which was great fun.... I just love being around fires out of doors with the incense of woodsmoke and the breath of night air... A spark in the Autumn dark...


Thursday, 21 October 2010

An early Halloween, Acorns, Oaks and the writings of a great wordsmith....

Being the last day of school before half term, the children had their Halloween school 'disco' tonight, a week early... I've only just recovered enough to restore brain functions! Very manic and very noisy! I can handle heavy metal concerts far better than a barn full of two to ten year olds running riot!
My eldest Elora has gone every year as a cat, so this year she broke tradition and went as a skeleton... then at the last minute buckled and added the cat ears!
Here they are very excited and proud of their pumpkins...

Then, looking on my camera I discoverd pictures from an autumn walk a couple of weeks back that I'd totally forgotten about, so I thought, it's still autumn so not too late to show some of them...
(This spidery ones suitably Halloween-ish!)


Here's some of the treasure me and Elswyth found on our way...


There's a very grand old Oak tree where we like to stop and rest, very Squirral Nutkin-like with lots of little hollow doorways in the roots. I love the expressiveness of the limbs, all gesturing crazed and contorted, and the fragile little girl gathering acorns, dwarfed by its presence...


And these limbs bring to mind one or two of Ted Hughes' poems...
I love the raw, sometimes brutal power of his wordcraft, he was so good at drawing out the elemental roots of the world, savage and wild as it has always been... both of nature and human nature...
Here is a short excerpt of a very long poem from 'Gaudete'...

Your tree - your oak
A glare

Of black upward lightning, a wriggling grab
Momentary
Under the crumbling of stars.

A guard, a dancer
At the pure well of leaf.

Agony in the garden. Annunciation
Of clay, water and the sunlight.
They thunder under its roof.
Its agony is its temple.

Waist-deep, the black oak is dancing
And my eyes pause
On the centuries of its instant
As gnats
Try to winter in its wrinkles.

The seas are thirsting
Towards the oak.

The oak is flying
Astride the earth.

How I love Ted Hughes. He has had a huge influence on my own writing and its time I started reading again I think... I have a shelf-ful of his books waiting, brooding bound within their pages, wanting to get out!
( I think there is a bit of Pratchett creeping in there, with images of restless muttering books flexing their covers ready to take flight from the shelves!)

And Elswyth's acorns have just reminded me of a bronze romano-british acorn in a little antiquities shop I saw years ago. Probebly the best part of two thousand years old found by some metal detectorist no doubt...
It was verdigreed and fashioned as a pendant and from the moment I walked empty handed out of that shop I have always regretted not buying it...
I always wondered who would once have worn it and what it meant to them... I really should have bought it!
Anyway, time to stop rambling on me thinks...!

Tuesday, 14 September 2010

Some more long lost writings - the Sun Shaper...!


This is a post for Kate of Kit & Kaboodle, and Aaron-Paul of The Lost Forge of Albion who were both kind enough to say they would like to read more about my Bronze Master character Torvachyll from this previous post... Thanks for the encouragement there guys, hope you like these excerpts... I will try and get it to make sense, but it is again a bit chopped up and moved around!

Just to explain - I briefly mentioned Torvachyll became the last of his kin in the previous writing post, the exact details of which I won't go into here except to say that it was the Solar Talsiman I described being crafted in the first excerpt that blinded his enemies to him and left him (just barely) alive and alone...

Here is a brief bit following that... Looking back at it now, I may have been rather heavily influenced by certain passages of Beowulf here...!


As the red orb of the sun slowly sank to lower the world into darkness, Torvachyll carried a blazing torch to the pyres, setting it to the hoard of wood and watched the hungry flames surge into the night. The blood-smoke rose heavy with sparks to obscure the stars, a dark wind rising to a wild howling lament, whirling imperishable flame leaping higher and higher, quickening dark, a savage flame fed upon blood and perishing souls.

Torvachyll, last living of Modhrin’mos stood harsh and bright with pain upon the hillside, cast red with the funereal flame, his eyes savage with grief and fury as he uttered his heart’s oath, his voice shuddering with rage and gathering conviction.

“Terrible slaughter has carried into darkness dear Kin of mine

With dreadful stride to the shade of endless night.

Now the flames shall grow savage and the fire destroy the fair sweet forms they wore in life,

The stricken silence resounds, desolate, terrible, on shadowy wings to fan the flames.

I shall raise a wind to shake the stars

I shall be the bright arrow that burns the air

The flash of sunfire sundering the darkness.

As the lean wolf to the stag, I will stalk thee

As the Sun across the sky I will not be stayed.

Unto my life’s end,

I shall deliver retribution.”

----------------------


And next a bit of an interim to carry the passages of time...


The skies turned, white mantle of winter descending the heights to cover the charred circles bleak on the ground of Modhrin’mos, where no fires any longer were raised in defiance of the pitiless night. Stars pitted the void, remote in polar frost, they fell in slow precession upon the arc of their silvered traceries, a dim etched pathway cast across the closed eye of night.

And yet life returned to the ice stricken land, and earth, blood darkened opened its umber throat to fern and tender shoot. Timid green crept wakening over the atrocity - the blood burned soil of Modhrin’mos. Blackened circles and the stumps of trees that gaped axe-severed necks to the sky remembered, a desolate ruin upon the barren hillside – tree-reft and child-reft.

In the new and unaccustomed stillness where sky reached exposed places long hoarded by the fallen woodland, saplings spindled up from the stumps of their forebears to endure in their place the frosts of autumn and the bitter life-hungering hold of winter. The sun rose and set irrefutable upon its course ever westwards into reddening flame, until the cost of four winters had scoured the land and passed silent into memory.

……………………………


Ok, this next passage is the following part of the last exerpt of the previous posting and finally lets you in on what he was crafting... (I shall reitterate slightly)


....He reached for the crucible, always eager with the awe of reverence. Abandoning the steady roar of the bellows and with sweat beading from his sooted arms, running from his brow and into his eyes, he lifted the fiery vessel from the furnace. The ore-light glowed from his avid face, grim with concentration, the sweat-streaked muscles of his arms stood out, his grip steady and strong upon the antler tongs as he tipped the crucible. He began a deep chant - a dark strong timbre and sparks cascaded, motes of fire streaming over his blackened hands as the white blood of molten metals flowed into the carven stone mould before him.

The orb of the sun rose over the mountain and the flash of sunfire was blinding as the dawn rays struck the cascade of bright flowing metal. Its white-gold fury drank in the blaze and grew, impossibly brighter. The fiery heat slowly travelled up his arms, hotter and brighter as if it would blacken his bones. His muscles trembled and burned, sweat poured from him until at last he fell back, the empty crucible tumbling from his scorched grip as the dazzle of molten Sun's Blood began to fade.

Stunned and half blind, Torvachyll blinked up at the rising sun, a silent reverence stilling him in answer to its bright splendour. This would be no ordinary weapon. Soon he would see it born into the world from its dark husk of stone and discover its secrets of power, whether it would be a weapon worthy of vengeance. But by the restlessness burning within him he knew already its worth and all weariness dropped from him, he awaited in half dread the sight of it.

And when the low dusk fell upon the hillside of axe-riven trees, Torvachyll last among the clans brought his life’s work into the dimming world. Dark shroud of stone falling away, he lifted the bright weapon of Bronze, yet raw and ashen from the flames – a great triple bladed spear that caught the bloodlight of the westering sun, flashing red along the slim graceful length of its haft that glimmered with Runes and strange glyphs. He turned it in wonder and the dimming sun flashed from the triple curves of the spearhead. Its balance was perfect; it sang poised in his hand, even unfinished it begged for flight. He knew in that moment he would never again craft anything to match its like, that all else shaped by his hand would be lesser and crude when laid beside this weapon of power.

There was one further working that he would turn in his hands upon this dread-glorious weapon, a risky fusing of powers that he had considered long and fully before turning himself to such a task. He had known well cautiously of the ancient meteorite buried deep in the flank of the Black Mountain, he had seen the terrible wounds caused by those flakes and slithers washed down with the rains and miss-chanced upon by the unfortunate.

And carefully he had gathered those blue-black flakes, remembering well the affliction of Fastheach of the Na’Duaer who once long ago had taken a part of the Moonshard from the Mountain and nearly died but for the Wyrdteller’s fey wisdom. He knew well the myth – how the Moonspear had fallen miscast to strike the Mountain, and knew also the dangerous nature of its power. He had gathered only those chips and flakes of strange rock washed down from the Mountain’s flank with the rains, as in his search of the stream-beds for ores he had often in the past recognised and wisely avoided those glittering grains – no theft of the Mountain would he make.

He had ground the glittering chips of mica to powder until his hands bled in slightest contact with the Moons’ metal-ore. All his preparations were made – the time was now, into the blind unknown, whatever strangeness would come of it.

He heated the head of the mighty spear in the furnace’s charcoal embers until its tip glowed white in the twilight. Then with great care he pushed the spear tip into the glittering blue-white powder and with a violent hissing and flashing of sparks and fire, the mica fused onto the spear tip. Even as it cooled in the chill night air the white-gold elegance of the spear head showed its piercing tip bright and glinting with chill blue fire – at once deepest black and whitest light that ached and burned holes in the darkness.

And when Torvachyll looked at his work, despite his own fury for vengeance and truth upon his purpose, he shuddered with a sense of something fatal and of a path of fate set in motion that now became irrefutable, an oath never to forsake. The curving edge that he tried to focus upon shimmered black in the black air, a deadly presence screaming into the vast ancestral night, yet he closed his hand strong upon the smooth haft, welcoming its fury into his soul and binding his fate with its sudden waking power.

“I name you Vrakas – vengeance taker,

Kinsblood and Sunfire.

With your waking to the world, I arise,

As the wolf to the hunt.

My arm shall give you purpose”

Torvachyll uttered with grim fire as far above, black Modhrin’s shadow stretched cold over an unpeopled land, and the pale brindled wing of the buzzard watching there swept as a fleet shadow across the moons.


I have one more exerpt involving Torvachyll after he's left his remote ancestral lands which I am thinking of posting at some point soon-ish if anyone's still interested... Hope you liked it... I know my writing can get heavy going at times but I can't seem to help myself, its just the way I like to write - so it's all very much un-edited! Well, its been interesting revisiting these old works, hopefully at some point I'll get to work on some new works...!


Please respect my copyright of these words and writings.

Tuesday, 24 August 2010

Past work part three - the Sun-shaper, Master of the Bronze...


So, another piece of old work...
This is Torvachyll the Ashen-armed of Modhrin'mos... or to give his full naming - Torvachyll son of Maeloryll, son of Tor, son of Tangarach... so it goes on!
He is another character from my long forsaken creative writing project of some years ago and one I was always rather fond of. His story is too long and too dark to go into, but he was the Bronze Master, a Sun Shaper - a sort of spiritual leader of his Clan, which was an isolated bronze-age type society.
I was drawing on the idea that metal workers of the bronze age were believed to be held in high status, feared, perhaps revered for their 'magical' skills and knowledge of ores and smelting.
The Bronze Workers in my stories were few, brethren of a solar cult who worshipped the sun and believed the 'sun metals' - copper and gold were sacred.

There are a few instances of metal working with this character in my writing (if you can bear to read through more of my long winded writing!) and I think maybe there might be at least one blogging friend out there who could point out any glaring inaccuracies in my understanding of bronze age metal working?? See what you think...

Beneath spreading boughs that lowered to the moss kept ground, smothering out the moonlight, dim figures crouched in silence motionless before the dawn. Hidden in the sheltered hollow out of sight of the fires of Modhrin'mos, the Bronze Masters worked their secrets in solemn ritual. These few warriors most revered of the Clan, were its strength and its guidance in the tenuous uncertain years since the exile of the Wyrdteller that had shaken their lives.

Torvachyll of the Ashen-arm opened his golden-shot hazel eyes, emerging from his deep reverie to survey the shadowed faces of his kinsmen around him in the gloom. The night was still, the vast sky beginning to fade towards the grey of pre-dawn, and yet he was uneasy.
The night long he and his smith brothers had worked the bronze, Ar-Dathril the youngest of them stoking the great oily goatskin bellows until the sparks rose in a white frenzy, settling to burn on the backs of their hands and sooted faces. The presise task of the crucible with its measures of tin and copper ores had been the charge of Shadraih the Grave, the eldest of them whose long storm grey hair fell glinting with copper beads clacking in the ends of his tresses.
The bronze workers had used their highly wrought skills to craft the moulds of clay and carved stone, nimble fingers and sharp eye to the arc of arrowheads and the slender curves of blade and spear. And Torvachyll - he was the Shaper, his were the dreams to make real, in the bright white blood of metals, the master of their art.


Torvachyll was also the Caller, when the flames turned to burn white and the new metal was joined in the furnace, he reached out his spirit to summon powers to the metal seething in creation within the fire's heat. Some objects he made held a brighter edge, arrowheads that sang flashing through the air, leaf bladed spears that held a Name and a soul of their own. Quite why he could not explain nor what powers lent themselves to creation, only that some objects when born out of their dark husks of ash were more special than the rest.

Now before the dawn, the time was at hand. The fire fury of the baked clay furnace had slowly died back to a dull red glow that drew their darkened faces from the gloom, though its heat was still strong. Through patient hours of stillness the dark moulds of clay had cooled and they were eager now to see their work born into the world. Without any word they began slowly and reverently to break the bronze from its ashes with pride in eye and touch, but Torvachyll held the brittle ball of clay that was his toil alone, reluctant now to breach its dark shell for fear of sucess or failure.
"Torvachyll, has it worked?" spoke Shadraih at last watching those serious golden eyes.
"I fear to discover Shadraih, we have done nothing like this before." Torvachyll answered softly.

He remembered the fragile detail of the beeswax disk he had crafted, transluscent with the pale light that it held in its misted centre, a form that had come unbidden to his hand and mind. It had been painful to entomb that effort of painstaking detail in a dark shroud of clay and dung and see its pale beauty obliterated and lost. He had attached a wax spout to the disk that protruded alongside a second vent hole from the packed clay, and into that the molten bronze had flowed in a bright cascade of sparks until the liquid wax bubbled and spluttered out.
Nothing was left of that dim luminous waxen image and all the hours of work that had gone into crafting it. Carefully Torvachyll began to break the new bronze from its blackened ashes, almost holding his breath as the cast fell away.

It shone... like the very sun it shone and in his golden eye the awe of reverence answered it. From the smooth fire-held light of of its centre the curvelinear relief of the design radiated outwards, every intricate turning of its convolution unerringly exact to that lost disk of wax, and yet in its metamorphosis it had gained some greater presence, some quality of power. Speechless he gazed into its face, a solar emblem whose dim light glowed gold on the brows of his cult brothers.
"You have crafted a Talsiman," whispered Shadraih in the hush.
"It has crafted itself." replied Torvachyll in wonder.

His story took a tragic turn leaving him the last of his kin, which is what has led him to the ominous gates in this sketch... I hesitated to post the full version of this - I would hate to offend, but if anyone has a problem with me showing this of course I will take it down...


This is about to be a mercy killing - and he has to kill the angel to open the gates to where he must go to avenge his kin... I hoped to have captured compassion in Torvachyll's gaze and acceptance in the angels'....

If you can bear any more here's another (shorter) bit of metal working writing...

.... Torvachyll gave in to weariness, his golden eyes closed and chin rested on chest, lost in the low eerie rhythm of the bellows and waiting to feel the quickening of the flames turn. As the blue vaporous breath faded from the ore's shifting surface to leave no sign of the eagle-blest token infusing the new metal, Torvachyll opened his eyes.

Something felt different, somehow charged and bright. He reached for the crucible, always eager with the awe of reverence. Abandoning the steady roar of the bellows and with sweat beading from his sooted arms, running from his brow and into his eyes, he lifted the fiery vessel from the furnace. The ore-light glowed from his avid face, grim with concentration, the sweat-streaked muscles of his arms stood out, his grip steady and strong upon the antler tongs as he tipped the crucible. He began a deep chant - a dark strong timbre and sparks cascaded, motes of fire streaming over his blackened hands as the white blood of molten metals flowed into the carven stone mould before him.

The orb of the sun rose over the mountain and the flash of sunfire was blinding as the dawn rays struck the cascade of bright flowing metal. Its white-gold fury drank in the blaze and grew, impossibly brighter. The fiery heat slowly travelled up his arms, hotter and brighter as if it would blacken his bones. His muscles trembled and burned, sweat poured from him until at last he fell back, the empty crucible tumbling from his scorched grip as the dazzle of molten Sun's Blood began to fade.

Ok, I promise to lay off the old writing excerpts for a long while now - think I've got that out of my system for now! Hope You'll forgive me the indulgence!


Please respect my copyright of these images and words...

Sunday, 15 August 2010

Some past work - part two!


So, here's for the next few embarrassing bits of past work!
These are all rough sketches/ideas for paintings that never happened. They were done about ten or so years ago I think, alongside a massive and very unfinished creative writing project. When I was writing I would visualise strongly the scene, atmosphere, feelings I was trying to convey and found it was often compelling to have to draw it as well. I drew constantly whilst I wrote and re-wrote, drawing my characters over and over until they were almost real to me. Sometimes I had the imagery in my head before the words and so I would draw the scenario before writing it, other times it would happen the other way round.

'Across the pyre' ( drawn about 2000 I think)

In many ways I think writing and illustration have always been a bit of a conjoined process for me, though I know I don't have what it takes to be a 'proper' writer - I get too attached to the language and just can't be ruthless enough to pare it down which makes my writing a bit heavy going (even I will admit!)
Also, although I love writing, trying to do someting novel sized (and highly convoluted) was so, so hard - I didn't have the conviction or the confidence to battle on with it. So although there are passages and characters I love in it, I think it will remain abandoned.
However, attempting the whole process has given me a huge respect for those talented writers who do see their work through to completion despite the struggle. It is much harder than you'd imagine and takes a lot of nerve, determination and hard, hard work as well as clinging on to the shreds of self conviction!

'A tattooing rite'

These all feature the same character, who was a brooding troubled soul... a lot of my writing then was quite dark, probebly a bit uncomfortable to read I imagine - and also probebly not particularly good for me either because I would empathsise so deeply with my characters in order to write about their emotional complexities...

'Sea-stricken'

I managed to find the bit of writing that comes directly from or alongside this particular drawing... its been a bit chopped up and I'm afraid I'm not even going to attempt to put it in context, but anyway here goes...

Brynn awoke from dark dreams with again the same panic of falling on the queasy tilt of the sea, the dreadful pitching of the ship that he could not grow used to...

... The wind was dark and bitter, slicing with vengeful spite across the bows of the ship, harsh with spray and brine. The grey seas heaved, coiling dark wreathed, hollow echoes rising in a deep anguished rage. The chill changeless wastes spanned from everywhere to nowhere spent, dissolving endlessly into distant sky, the world swallowed from all sight...

...Brynn was uneasy, the day felt tenuous, poised upon wrongness. The dim spectres of the winds stirred his sense of omen with a fleet foreboding. He could not grasp it nor explain his restlessness. The dark knot of cloud drawing down over the sea lowered with gathering threat, and still closer some fell sense of danger grew upon him.

"It is a cold treacherous entity, the sea, dark tramelled and vengeful. To think that our lives are held in such a fragile husk of wood against that terrible strength, the cold drowning tides drawing at the timbers so that they shift and groan. So desperate little bark between us and that vast crushing drag of ocean. It could splinter our vessel in a breath and drag us deep into dark tides forvever cold." Brynn muttered faintly.
His gaunt face was distant as he spoke and cast with a brooding dread as he gazed out over the endlessly shifting waves, shuddering as if some fell presence haunted him.
Morak (his companion) sighed. He had no wisdom to answer the Wizard's disquiet, and he had neither patience nor conviction to draw Brynn from dark brooding, no words to stir him from this self inflicted thrall of disaster...


So there you go, a double embarrassment of old artwork and old writing, may you make of it what you will! (sorry if its a bit grim!) :)

Please respect my copyright of these images and words, thankyou.


Sunday, 23 May 2010

Of Twilight ramblings and Mood Demons...

Well, for the first time in a long time I had an afternoon to myself while the children were at Grandma & Gramps, but I just couldn't focus on producing any artwork - frustrating. All I managed was this rather half hearted sketch which grew onto the page as a manifestation of my mood!
However, restless as I was today, there was so much stunning imagery around to soak in and store up... Looking up into the blue, blue space between apple leaves and willow leaves reaching towards each other, sunlit leaves and bluest blue sky, there were drifts of willow catkin seeds, small thistledown travellers upon the softest breeze. Now and then the bright Swallow flash of ink blue wings and white throat cut across the flawless window of azure, birdsong everywhere...

And last night we sat out through all the slow changes of twilight till midnight around the fire bowl in the night hushed garden drinking Talisker... So it has been words and not images that have come to me these past days... As we watched and listened to the unravelling dusk I scrawled down the raw thoughts as they unfolded with the changing moments... By no means 'poetry' or any kind of wordcraft, here are a few disjointed lines of night thoughts...

The birds sang the day in, now they sing the day out...
I sit in the woody fragrance of the twilit fire
and hear the birds calling their roosting songs,
back and forth
across the moth-misted meadow...

Bats flicker low over cow parsley glowing
star-pale in the diminishing light.
The fragile rose colours have faded beyond the Sky's edge...
The sky deepens again
from duck-egg frailty
to a sonorous depth of blue.
Venus burns, bright metal cold
between black leaves.
A half moon shimers
beyond the rising smoke haze...

A fox barks out
again and again
far drifting across the night meadow
blood curdled shriek piercing the hush of gathering darkness.
No owls call yet tonight
their absence is a gap in the night's rhythm...
Finally, 10:50 pm
We hear the first scolding Toowhitt - Toowhitt
brisk and sudden...

The circle of firelight
becomes intimate, close
the world retreating into darkness beyond.
A lone screech rises up out of the valley,
a peacock's ragged pride
eerie with imagined grief.

A nail in charred wood
trails vivid turquoise
tendrils of flame...

I hope my twilight ramblings haven't been too tiresome! But it was a beautiful soft evening and there's nothing so soothing as listening the night sounds unfold around a quiet fire as the light changes...!
So anyway, after my somewhat restless day that followed such a peaceful night, I cheered myself up by gathering some flowers from my garden to remind me of moths, twilight, and the arrival of glorious summer! I will share them with you too...


(p.s. Castell Henllys is not forgotten, an Iron Age post is on its way...!)

Thursday, 15 April 2010

Long lost projects of creative writings...

(The Raven is just because a post without a picture seems a bit forlorn!)


The text in my banner says art and creative writing...
I have been wondering whether I would be brave enough to show any of my writing here - the thought is quite a terrifying one!

Over the course of about eight years on and off I slowly taught myself about writing. I have a passion for language and ancient literature, especially the rhythms of anglo-saxon metre and the way they would craft the sounds within the language... So in fits and starts I wrote a fair quantity of my own Tolkien-esque fantasy. I doubt these old projects will ever get finished or see the light of day, I haven't worked on them at all since having children and it would all need serious reworking (or scrapping!)

I would have loved to have done a creative arts course or even just creative writing, but never have, so have never had any real guidance or objective critisism outside of immediate family.
In fact my main source of constructive critism was my poor long suffering husband who doesn't like my writing at all and is dyslexic - he always found it too over descriptive and heavy going!
I think if I do come back to writing for adults, I'm probebly better suited to short stories or prose-poetry. My unfinished 'novels' if I ever dared to call them such a thing, just kept getting bigger and bigger, and the plots too convoluted and it all got beyond me!

Anyway, enough stalling! Although I struggled to rein in my plots, the parts of the writing I loved doing and still love, were the descriptive passages that moved across time and season, transitions of twilight and sunrise, the interactions of elemental forces...
So I thought I'd very tentatively throw a few out there that work out of context to show you how I write and see what thoughts if any you might have...

Here are the first few lines of a prologue...

A breath of time.
The quickening of Skysong, ceaseless, unbound
The long primal earthcry of Mountain, of rock
Storm, the grief of the land, the voice
Unheard through the blizzard’s rage

Twixt earth and sky a green and voiceless wind rides the night, a whisper of all it has known, beckoning the tree that yearns at its roots, meandering through stone, rising to the cold flanks of Mountain that ring with power.

Turning from those grim grey entities of rock and ice, the fickle wind challenges the sky, a moonsome shout beneath the cryptic mazing of stars that splinter their mysteries to darkness...


And here a couple of transitionary passages...


… The forest breathed the snows, the Mountain bore the blizzard, hawk and hare journeyed the darksome shades of winter. The gales perished towards the dawn of summer...

And...


… The bitter winter wrung out its storms, swept back its whirling cloak of ice to relinquish the land to life once more, only to leap roaring from the north as the forest turned to blood, eager to strangle away the green to another season’s sorrows.
Such was the eternal battle and all the land the battleground to suffer the rage of polar blizzard and spring flood, while sun nurtured the land and strove summer long to heal the wounds of winter.
The long turnings of many skies passed, and passed again, revolving around the silently shrieking crater of Modhrin. The Mountain sharpened itself against the sky, unheeding as the forest crept struggling further up its ragged flanks into wind and bitter hardship. The Twin Moons fought and died, fought and died, reborn from starvation again and yet again, as the wild elder clans watched for omens in the night.

That'll do for now! I am feeling rather nervous about this post and whether or not its such a good idea, but if I get brave enough I might post some more complete excerpts next time. I'd be interested in your thoughts, good or bad... Please feel free to comment freely!


(These writings are my personal original work. Please respect my copyright, thankyou!)
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